THE FIRST POST. "IMPOSSIBLE" IS JUST A HINDERANCE.

24.02.2023 - Raymie Aukkarapisansopon

Ok, wow?? I have actually finished building this website omg?? After many, many, MANY months (from the beginning-middle-ish of 2022 to now), this little project of mine had been both a great source of jocundity and torture, and in many ways, I am kind of relieved that today marks the end of me coding Rickweet because boy is it hard to juggle school and other obligations, maintain friendships and familial relationships whilst coding this website and ensuring it looks somewhat decent.

Coding a website, for me (as someone who had never, ever coded much before the idea of having my own blog entered my head), was absolutely difficult. There were a myriad of times when I wanted to give up – I remember one of those incidents vividly: I was sitting at the dinner table and had just finished the landing page of Rickweet (the initial design of the landing page back then was moderately different from the one you see now); I was overjoyed, the jumping-up-and-down-like-a-maniac type of overjoyed. That is, until I made my tab smaller and discovered what I now know as ‘responsive web design,’ which basically translates to making web pages look good and work well on a variety of devices. My initial landing page for Rickweet might’ve looked beautiful on computers, but it was destined to look horrible, weird on phones and ipads. After the horrible realisation, I closed my mac and told my mom, who was also doing her own work at the dinner table, that I didn’t want to code anymore, that it was too difficult, and that I was not qualified nor intelligent enough to do it. She looked at me with sorrow-filled eyes and told me (in Thai): “it’s ok. You’re not unintelligent, dear. We can hire a coder to make your website for you. Don’t stress.” Which sounded great! I really was considering it. I went onto pinterest and started scrolling, finding aesthetically-pleasing inspiration for websites that the coder my mom was to hire was to be tasked to bring to life. But after scrolling for a while, I felt…. awfully dissatisfied, to the extent where it exceeded that of when I found out that my landing page was not responsive.

You see, I had planned this website for weeks and weeks and started coding for about a month. Now it had just dawned on me that I was about to give up doing something that I had planned of doing all by myself with my very own hands right from the very beginning just because I felt defeated and dejected. And because I was upset, I started to delude myself that the prospect of me building an effective website was “impossible.” This, I realised, is false. “Impossible” was just a wall my brain had built for myself as an adversary and a hindrance to my goal. “Impossible” was, in fact, surmountable, all I had to do was not accept “impossible” as a hindrance, stop giving “impossible” the fuel it needed to become a bigger and stronger wall and simply just start climbing it. What I am trying to convey here is to never, ever, ever, give up AND to never ever, ever listen to anyone who as much as plant the prospect of giving up in your head (sorry mom, I appreciate you for trying to reduce my stress though. I love you.) From coding Rickweet, I have learnt, in my own way, what it really meant to persevere and I believe that everyone is capable of climbing the “impossible” wall that their mind has built, no matter how steep or powerful that wall is.

On that note, even though I had just written a whole essay about me coding without the interference of an actual, sparkly, expensive coder, I didn't mean to say that it was forbidden to receive any help at all. In fact, one of my main (and only) strategies for climbing the wall was to get help. And trust me, during this period of exploration and new found will-power, I turned to what would become my greatest companion whilst coding – Youtube!

I would like to sincerely thank the youtubers Coding World, Codegrid, Easy Tutorials, Coder Coder, WebStuff etc. (I’m not completely sure that that’s the correct amount of youtubers I’m thanking; I watched a lot of coding videos. However, I can’t seem to track all the videos I have watched whilst coding, but I did comment under a few videos thanking some of you all for making my life a whole lot easier. Therefore, if your youtube handle isn't on here and I’ve commented on your video regarding code, please do let me know by messaging @raymatouille on instagram. I would really love for you to be on here.) If you are seeing this, I would just like to let you know that I appreciate what you do and that your videos are very informative and helpful. You have also been a great source of motivation and beacon of hope to me as well. Thank you so much for doing what you do. Please never give up and continue what you’re doing because you guys are literally doing the universe’s work!

Additionally, I would also like to thank Mr Jon Duckett, the author of the book ‘HTML & CSS design and build websites.’ Sir, your book was enlightening, concise and easy to digest. Without your work, I don’t think I would have been able to climb that wall. Thank you for helping me reach the top.

I already wrote a lot about how impossible, impenetrable and frustrating coding a website can be, so now I am going to talk about the joys of coding! A large part of me really is unhappy that I won’t be coding regularly anymore. Those brisk early mornings in my tutor room at school, those late nights in my room under the orange glow of my lamp, both settings had acted as backdrops as I sat hunched over my macbook’s filthy screen writing lines and lines of code for each new section of Rickweet etc., etc. For me, it was the small things – like when I first successfully added a video onto my landing page or when I finally learnt how to make a website responsive. It was these small moments, a plethora of them, which I learnt to pick up piece by piece, place it together, until it became an ethereal portrait, it was these small moments where the joy of coding originated. After a while of coding, I did not need to doubtly convince myself that the wall was surmountable anymore; why still doubt when you’re already almost at the top? The only motivation I needed was by looking at my semi-finished website, which only became more and more complete as the day (or night) went by, and suddenly – that, alone, was more than enough conviction for me.

Bottomline – even though it was hard, at times downright frustrating, I will continue to savour all the unforgettable memories I have whilst creating Rickweet. Alongside writing and history and literature, Rickweet made me realise how much I truly love and value webdesign (and all its sharp edges) and how I will probably code more websites as a hobby in the forseeable future if my IGCSEs don't devour me first. I am irrevocably proud to say that I love this cosy little corner I have built for myself in this vast, vast internet, and I look forward greatly to dumping all of my ramblings, ideas and work on here.

Let me introduce myself: I’m Raymie and you are now at the root of all my ramblings – welcome to Rickweet! I truly appreciate your presence here!

ABOUT MIE!

Let me introduce myself: hello! I’m Raymie and you are now in the root of all my ramblings – welcome to Rickweet! I truly appreciate your presence here!

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